I AM

kevin altiveros javier
kheijhei, kj, kaje
kevs, kuya
male
17
april 13,1991
lunatic arian
second child
left-handed
activist
pinoy!
feminist
conservative
non-conformist
malatean, mascian, isko
magnoid, fordie, dugyot, albert
blockI-2 community nutrition
loves blue as well as books
wants to be a doctor
neurology/ ortho-spine
doctor to the barrios
"make a change"


Messages



Friends

• angelo crisanto
• thea marie
• jay-v james
• miguel cristobal

• leslie anne
• philippe ronel
• carlos miguel
• beatriz cecilia

• masaki
• iric kevin
• pauline anne
• marie anne pauline

• niño joseph
• jason mari
• ellaine
• pauline gidget

• christine minnelle
• ralph anthony
• nephele fabiola
• miguel
• royce margaux
• Malikhaing Pagsulat 10 kasama si Prop. Omeng

. Jachelyn Telan
. Gemmy David

History

February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008

Credits

CONSPIRE.AFFAIR

1 Cor: 13 4-8

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous nor conceited nor proud. Love is not rude, Love is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, Love does not keep record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are languages, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

PRAYER

one thing i ask
to dwell in the house of the Lord
all my days
to gaze on His goodness
and walk in His ways
He will shelter me,
He will be my strength
in the triumph that He brings me
i can hold me head high
in His house i shall lift up my voice
i will sing, i will praise the Lord

Music

bye bye

MIRROR

I am Navy Blue
I'm a true adventurer. I constantly find myself drawn to new experiences, people, and places. Sometimes I feel quite scattered and bored. If something exciting isn't going on, I feel a bit lost.
What Color Blue Are You?


I am Rouge Red
Of all the reds, I am the most energetic and vibrant. I never need to recharge, and in fact, I often recharge others. Gutsy and brave, I've never let my fears stop me from doing anything. I figure that life is all about experiences, and I'll always take that leap of faith.
What Color Red Are You?


I am Emerald Green
Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets me. Inside, I am very emotional and moody - though I don't let it show. People usually have a strong reaction to me... profound love or deep hate. But I can even get those who hate me to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about me.
What Color Green Are You?


I am Iris
I am an interesting blend of fun and wisdom. I definitely make people think about themselves and their place in the world. But they'll have fun doing it. I definitely epitomize laughter therapy. I am a very enriching and entertaining friend!
What Color Purple Are You?


I am Midnight
I am more than a little eccentric, and I'm apt to keep very unusual habits. Whether I'm a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - I like to experiment with my lifestyle. Expressing my individuality is important to me, and I often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and my place in it. I enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean I'm a hermit. I also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.
What Time Of Day Are You?


I Am Lightning
Beautiful yet dangerous
People will stop and watch me when I appear
Even though I'm capable of random violence

I am best known for: my power

My dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?


I Am Yang
Masculine
Creative, Angry, Spring, Summer, Morning
Sun, Space, Active, Wood, Chocolate(actually, i hate chocolates; i prefer salty foods)
Are You Yin or Yang?


I Have a Melancholic Temperament
Introspective and reflective, I think about everything and anything. I am a soft-hearted daydreamer. I long for my ideal life. I love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for me. Given enough time alone, it's easy for me to find inner peace. I tend to be spiritual, having found my own meaning of life. Wise and patient, I can help people through difficult times. At my worst, I brood and sulk. My negative thoughts can trap me. I am reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.(depende sa tao yun.) I tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.(tama!)
What Temperment Are You?


I also have a Choleric Temperament
I am a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, I am reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. I want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. I posses a sharp and keen intellect. My mind is my primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep me down. My energy can break down any wall. I'm an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives me an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, I am a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.(medyo) Stubborn and opinionated and a bit of a misanthrope.
What Temperment Are You?


My EQ is 133
50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.
What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?


My Brain is Blue
Of all the brain types, mine is the most mellow.
I tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. I don't try to think away my troubles.
My thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. I truly see things as how they are.

I tend to spend a lot of time thinking about my friends, my surroundings, and my life.
What Color Is Your Brain?


I am 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained
The left side of the brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others(true!). If you're left brained, you are likely good at math(?) and logic. The left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.(sometimes)

The right side of the brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way(true!). If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing(never!) and art. The right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports(sports?!).

actually, i am left-handed... so i'm not sure about the results... i think i'm more of right brained... anyway... i answered the questions fairly... so i accept the results...
Are You Right or Left Brained?


I Am An ESTJ
The Guardian I'm a natural leader and quick, logical decision maker. Goals are important in my life, and I take many steps to acheive them. I enjoy interacting with others, mostly through work related activities. My high energy level means I am great at getting things done!(huh?!?) In love, I tend to bring stability to relationships. I feel comfortable being in charge, and I enjoy being a provider. At work, I take charge. I thrive in structured environments and don't mind enforcing the rules. I would make a great teacher, judge, or police detective. How I see myself: Realistic, stable, and pragmatic(sabi ng test to noh!) When other people don't get me, they see me as: Rigid, bound to rules, and a bad listener(?)
What's Your Personality Type?


I Have A Type A- Personality
I am one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, I am good at getting what I want I rule at success, but success doesn't rule me. When it's playtime, I really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something I love! I live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds
Do You Have a Type A Personality?


I am 81% Feminist
I am a total feminist. This doesn't mean I'm a man hater (in fact, I am a man). I just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.
Are You a Feminist?


My Intrapersonal Intelligence Score: 86%
My Intrapersonal Intelligence is Very High(?!?)

I've spent a lot of time introspecting, and it's really paid off.
I am comfortable with who I am, and I have a life philosophy that I am happy to live by.
And I'm always re-evaluating what I believe. Because I learn something new about myself each day! (ano 'to, joke?!?)
How Does Your Intrapersonal Intelligence Rate?


I Am Internal - Realist - Empowered
I feel my life is controlled internally.
If I want something, I make it happen.
I don't wait around for things to go my way.
I value my independence and don't like others to have control.

I'm a realist when it comes to luck.
I don't attribute everything to luck, but I do know some things are random.
I don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you...
But I do my best(?) to try to make my own luck.

I have a good deal of power, but I also know the pecking order.
I realize that working the system does get me further.
I know who to defer to and who to control.
When it comes to the game of life, I play things flawlessly.(huh?!?)
The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test


Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Sensing
I am: A true admirer of beauty and art Someone who seeks out variety and adventure Not interested in status or material wealth Able to act wisely without stopping to think
What's Your Personality Cluster?


I Am 82% Non Conformist
I'm incredibly strange. And a weirdness like mine takes skill to cultivate!
No one really understands me. And i'm cool with that(?). I just hope I never have to understand them!
Are You a Nonconformist?


My Political Profile:
Overall: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Ethics: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?


You Are The Guru
You are a naturally good counselor. You are inspiring, encouraging, and compassionate.
You are eager to help everyone who crosses your path, even those who don't want to be helped.

You are a natural healer. People feel at peace when they are with you.
You are so good for people, in fact, that they go through withdrawal once you're gone.

You quietly do your own thing, without openly resisting. You secretly try to fix every problem.
Your biggest regret is not being able to help as many people as you'd like.
What Role Do You Play?
I Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)
I'm both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination. I was born to be a doctor.(according to the results of this test. haha..)
What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

~

Saturday, June 21, 2008

tapos na ang ulan noong madaling araw na iyon. tapos na nga ang buhos nito ngunit ang lamig ng kapaligiraý nagsisimula pa lamang. unti-unting naglalakbay ang lamig nito, pumapasok hanggang sa kaibuturan ng aking kalamnan. ang lamig nitoý kumalat sa aking katawan, mula sa aking talampakan, sa aking binti, sa aking tiyan, sa aking puso hanggang sa aking kaisipan. nilamon ng lamig ang aking katauhan.

umaga na nga ngunit ang umagang itoý nananatiling madilim. nananatili ang itim na ulap sa aking kalangitan. "nasan na?" ang aking sambit. hinahanap ang araw na siyang inaasahang papawi ng lamig. sa aking paghihintay, ang araw na inaasam ay hindi na muli pang nagpakita pa. itoý nawala; pinili nitong itago ang sariling liwanag. tila itoý natulog na't kinalimutan na ako. gayunpaman, ang aking pag-asaý hindi pa rin natitinag. nandito ako, nakatayo sa isang malaking piraso ng bato, naghihintay. naniniwala akong nauunawaan ng langit ang aking nais. naniniwala akong mahahanap ko ang aking makikita.

gayun nga't ang lamig sa aking katawaý hindi natitinag. ang lamig ay naging yelo at ang yelo ay naging patalim na umuubos sa aking kalamnan, nilalamon niya ako; ang aking paa, hita, tiyan, puso at kaisipan. habang tumatagal, akoý nauubos. Ang bato ay naging kahoy at ang kahoy ay nagiging tubig. walang magawa ang aking mga mata kundi ang lumuha, tinitiis ang lamig na siyang puno't dulo ng lahat, na siyang sanhi ng aking pagdurusa.

minsaý humarap ako sa salamin, tinitignan ang aking bihis, ang aking anyo. binago ng lamig ang aking pagkatao. narito ako, ibang-iba sa pinagmulan ko. ang aking anyo ay iba na ngang talaga, ang aking pananalita ay tunay ngang lumala. hindi ko na makilala ang tao sa salamin, hindi ko na makita ang dating payak at mainam kong imahe. ang kislap sa aking mga mataý napalitan na ng iba. ang aking mukhaý puno ng maskarang pilit na ikinukubli ang aking tunay na anyo, ang aking tunay na kabuluhan. ang aking mga bisig, ang aking mga palad na nooý naging kanlungan ng mga perlas at dyamanteý napalitan na ng mga buhanging unti-unting naglalaho't sumasabay sa hangin. hindi ko na kilala ang aking sarili.

sa kabila ng aking mga dinanas, ito hindi pa nangatatapos. ang aking katayuaý wala pa sa kalingkingan ng aking tunay kong estado. hinamak nila ako. pinagkaisahan. ginamit nila ang aking lakas, ang aking talino. ang aking mga braso ay kanilang iginapos, ang aking mga tengaý kanilang tinakpan, ang aking mga hita ay kanilang binali, ang aking mga mataý binusalan at ang aking mga mataý binulag na lamang. ngayon ang tanging maaring ko na lamang gawin ay ang pakiramdaman ang aking paligid. gayunman, ang bagay na itoý unti-unti na rin nawawala sa akin, nanghihina ako, nanghihina sa kawalang kamalayan at kawalang pakialam. hindi ako makalakad, makarinig, makakita o kahit makaramdam man lamang. itoý hindi dahil sa akoý itinali, binulag o kung ano pa man. sinisisi ko ang aking sarili, ang aking katawan pagkat itoý nananatiling marupok at walang pakialam. ito ay inaanay na tila kanser na dinudurog ang aking katawan. natutulog ang aking lakas, ang aking kamulatan.

gayunpaman, dumating na ang araw upang ang lahat ng itoý wakasan, upang ang lamig na bumabalot sa aking katawaý muling mapalitan ng init na siyang magbibigay ng karampatang lakas upang lumaban. ang aking kalangitaý panahon na upang muling magliwanag panahon na upang gisingin ang natutulog nitong araw. babaklasin ko ang pagkakagapos ng aking katawan, ang aking mga bisig at palad ay aking gagamitin upang muling tipunin ang mga perlas at dyamanteng minsan nang kumawala sa aking pagkakakapit. ang bato ay dapat na manatiling bato. ang mga anay ay susugpuin ko at lalabanan upang ang aking minimithi ay aking makamtan. titibagin ko ang lipunang nagkulong sa akin at nagpahimbing sa aking kaisipan. imumulat ko ang aking mga mata, ibubuka ang bibig para sa mga katotohannag pilit na ikinukubli, makikinig ako sa mga hinaing ng iba at kikilos ako para sa hinaharap. mananatili ang dating ako, ilang daang taon man ang lumipas. ang aking pagkakakilanlan ay mananatili. ang aking ngalan ay magtatagal kailanman. Ako ang U.P., ako ang Oblation.

/b a c k. t o. t o p.

posted at 9:17 AM


~

Monday, June 2, 2008

bakit ganun. hanggang ngayon namomoblema pa rin ako sa iyo. naniniwala naman akong wala akong ginawang masama pero hanggang ngayon bothered ako. hindi ko kasi alam kung ano yung tumatakbo sa isip mo. gusto na kitang kausapin pero mukhang ayaw mo. kusto kitang harapin pero umiiwas ka pa rin. ang gulo mo. ang mean mo. hindi ko alam kung paano mo natitiis yang ginagawa mo. grabe ka. tama nga siya, hindi ka namin maabot. ang layo mo. nilunok namin lahat pero walang nangyari. hindi ko alam kung ano na. alam mo, gusto kitang kausapin, kasi gusto kong malaman yung mga nais mong sabihin. gusto kong malaman kung galit ka pa rin, gusto kong malaman kung ngayon ba ay ayos ka na, na stable ka na, gusto kong malamang kung isinusuka mo ba kami, o kung kinamumuhian mo na yung mukha ko, na hiniling mo na sana hindi nal ang ako nag-exist sa mundong ito. ayaw mong magsalita. nakakinis ka na. hindi ko alam. ang gulo talaga. gusto ko magsalita ka, sigawan mo ako gusto yan talaga ang gusto mo, umiyak ka kung gusto mo, maging tao ka naman sana. alam ko. kahit anong tago ang gawin mo, sa lahat pa ng pagtataguan mo ako pa, alam kong kahit anong pilit mo, nahihirapan ka pa rin. ewan ko sa yo. sorry ka na lang, ayokong tigilan to eh, hindi ako titigil dahil ayokong isuko ito, ayokong isuko ka. ewan ko. ang gago nga eh. parang timang lang. hindi ko alam kung bakit mukhang sinadya ng diyos na makapasok ako ulit ng yakal. grabe. ewan ko, kasi hiniling ko nun na kung matatanggap ako ulit sa yakal it means na magkakaayos tayo. pero bakit ganun, parang buwan na nga yung lumipas galit ka pa rin. actually, wala na akong pakialam kung sino ba ang nagsimula ng gulo. sige na. mali na ako kung mali ako. ako na ang nagsimula nito. pero naniniwala akong ang mahalaga dito ay kung paano ako makikipag-ayos sa yo. grabe. hindi ko alam kung pano tatapusin to. hindi ko mabasa yung pagkatao mo. ewan ko. kahit anong pilit kong tigilan na to, na wala nang pag-asa tong pinaglalaban ko, na hindi na magbabago ang lahat, mayroon pa rin something sa aking nagsasabing magiging maayos ang lahat. na lahat ng hiniling ko noon ay magkakatotoo sa tamang panahon. pero kailan yun? hindi ko maintindihan. ang gulo mo. haha... ^_______^

/b a c k. t o. t o p.

posted at 12:29 PM